Lingering feelings
by That wont stop the rain
Summary: Alex is feeling different, but it s a good feeling. He has never been this happy in his life. Please review!
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

I woke up and I saw myself in the mirror, I leaned on the sink and started thinking, what is this? I felt strange but I remembered this feeling, it was a very familiar feeling that I haven´t experienced in a long time. I thought I´d never feel this way again. But I did. All I could think about is her and the way she smiled and how she cheered me up every day, I felt so happy every time I remembered she was here for me, and not like any girl I had met before, everything started with sex with other girls but this started as a friendship. Not even Izzie made me this happy, with Izzie I never knew if she was going to die on me or wake up one day and leave me, I was frightened and when she left, all I could feel was pain and then numbness and I didn´t want to live anymore but now I have a reason to live and enjoy life, I know she would never leave out of the blue or hurt me. Since that day in the supply room with the donuts, every time I looked at her I just felt stuff lingering through my body and it felt pretty damn awesome. I don´t want to ruin our friendship and I don´t want her to think I just want sex, that is why I have to wait, I´m going to wait and make her feel the way I feel for her. Starting tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 1

I woke up to the crunching noses of Cristina and Owen´s bed. I barely got 4 hours of sleep, I just sat in the couch she gave me thinking about what could happen in the future. And I know I like her, very much, but does she feel the same way?

She made it pretty clear she only wanted to be my friend and I was ok with that then but now things are different. I guess I´ve had these feelings inside me for a long time and Mere made me notice I had actually had them. But then in the couch thinking about Jo and my feelings for her, I remembered how much pain I experienced when Izzie left me, Those were the worst days of my life, worse than when I got shot and I took the stairs for a few weeks. I guess love hurts.

I´ve been wanting to call Jo all day and just talk to her or just hear her breathe, but I knew she was busy in the hospital with pre rounds and intern stuff. I´ve got today off and she gets off in two hours. Two hours where I can actually plan what I´m going to say to her and not think about her. I want to be together with her now but I have to take it slow or she will just think im crazy. I had the idea of making her dinner but I don´t cook and that is too romantic for now.

I get up and call the pizza place and check if I have enough beer in the fridge, and I do. I actually enjoy living with Jo and I don´t mind Cristina or Avery. The pizza is here and I place it on the small coffee table with the beer, I start thinking in what im gonna say to her and then I noticed I haven´t had sex in like, since in I´m friends with Jo. That means something right? I guess I could bring it up when Im talking to her.

I hear the door open and I jump out of the couch and almost feel like my heart is pounding out of my chest, and there she is, she looks beautiful and her hair looks perfect considering the fact she has been wearing a scrub cap all night. She looks tired and without even glancing at me she runs to the couch and starts telling me what she did tonight and how a patient... What did she say?

-ALEX? HELLOOOO? ¡ALEX!?

She screams and then I realize I wasn´t hearing her. I just don´t know what to do. I needed to tell her how I feel.

-I ordered some pizza and there was some beer in the fridge so...

-¡Oh thank you, I am so hungry I have been running post ops all night and I didn´t even have the time to go to a vending machine!

-(I scratch my head thinking of something casual to say). Well, I figured you would be hungry.

She then stares at me.

- Alex? what´s wrong? ¡You are like in you´re own world right now! Should I go pop that bubble you are living in now? ¡Here I come

She comes running to me and throws herself on me and we both land on my mattress. She then starts laughing and I stare into her crystal eyes. I have this urge to kiss her but there is no way she would kiss me back If I don´t tell her how I feel, she is not like any girl I´ve met before. We start talking and eating. A few minutes later we finish the pizza and we are surrounded by our laughter.

-Jo, I really need to talk to you about something.

-¡Me too! There was this odd patient who...

-No, Jo, It´s serious, for me.

-Oh... Did something happen? If I have to move out I totally understan...

-No, Jo, please listen.

-Oh, Alex I´m sorry you know I´m here for you, you don´t even have to say it.

She then grabs my hands and smiles, And I think this is it, I have to tell her now.

-Jo…


	3. Chapter 2

Jo... I try to sum up what I´m going to say to her but I just can´t tell her right now. What was I thinking?

Thanks, I finally murmur shrugging. I then close my eyes and try to sleep. I guess I did fall asleep cause I wake up to Jo making breakfast. It smells like syrup and fresh fruit.

- I made some waffles, you looked very agitated last night so, what a better way to start the day than having waffles with you´re awesome friend.

- I didn´t pick you for the cooking type, Wilson. I say smirking.

- Well, I got the mix out of a box, Who doesn´t love waffles?

Cristina comes running down the stairs and into the kitchen.

- ¡I smell food! she says. What a miracle. The last time the house smelled like this was when Izzie lived here.

-Well, they are out of a box, I say.

- I don´t care what they are as long as they are edible. There is never anything edible in this house.

She then grabs a waffle, gets her stuff and runs out the house to go to work.

Jo looks at the clock.

- ¡Oops, I´m gonna be late! ¡See you in the halls today, maybe we can sneak some food out of the nurses lounge again!, Oh and remember you have to tell me what you were supposed to tell me last night, I´m not pressuring you but it will help you feel better. Tell me when you´re ready, !See ya!.

She then heads out of the kitchen and I hear the main door close. I stare at my waffle, unable to eat it because my head is full, I close my eyes and then I hear my pager go off. I put my jacket on and I start walking towards the hospital thinking about how she may react if I tell her soon. I really have been trying to keep feelings out of my life cause the last time I let them In, It was incredible at first but in the end it was too much and I couldn´t handle all the pain. But I thought, not everything is perfect and if something feels this good, it can´t be bad.

I walk into the hospital and check on my patients, later I perform and appendectomy Well, actually I supervise it and let Jo perform it. She is awesome in the OR. We scrub out and we are on our way to the cafeteria.

-Good work, Wilson, I say taping her back.

-Thank YOU for letting me perform it, ¡You´re the best!

She then hugs me and I hug her back. She backs away fast, grabs my hand and takes me into the linens room.

- What are we doing here? I ask.

- I just wanted to chill out in a linens closet... I´m joking, Alex you need to tell me what is worrying you, I´m not fond of the linens room but I guess this is a safe place where you can tell me.

- I put my hands on my hips and smirk.

- I´m okay, I guess I was drunk yesterday. You know, we did have a few beers. I say.

- I had the same amount of beers you had, and I didn´t get drunk, you are hiding something Karev. You need to let it out.

I then sit down and lean my head against the wall and Jo sits beside me staring at me for an answer, I guess.

- Well, look, I´ve been feeling different these past days and I really can´t stop thinking about you. I´m feeling happier now than I have in years, you can make me feel very happy and I can´t go on with my life if I don´t tell you how I feel about you. I think I´m falling in love with you, I say teary eyed staring at the wall against me waiting for her to say something. She looks at me with an amazed face and I look at her and I can´t hold the urge of kissing her any longer. I grab her head and our noses are touching, then she puts her hand on the back of my head, grabs my hair and puts her lips on mine, they are soft and warm and better than what I imagined. We start kissing passionately and then we are on the floor making out, And I wish this moment would last forever, I don´t know what is going to happen when she pulls away, cause I´m not going to.

I wonder if she feels the same way like I do now, I can´t find a better word for describing this, bittersweet. It´s bittersweet because it´s probably one of the best moments in my life now but I don´t know what it will be later. We then stop kissing but we are very close and we are looking at eachother and I can see through her, I see the beauty she has inside, all her virtues and how she didn´t want me for sex, she genuinely liked me, after a while of looking into her, I feel like I´m drowning in love and I wish I knew what she was thinking. She doesn´t say anything but she smiles a smile that I can see she is genuinely happy and I feel something spark inside me. Maybe she really likes me. She then puts her head on my shoulder and our fingers are intertwined. I wish this moment could last forever.


	4. Chapter 3: Misunderstandment

So, i´ll be waiting for you in you´re house- She says.

See you when you get there- She says.

Yeah, sure I say smiling as she leaves the room.

YES, YES, YES - I scream.

Cristina enters the room.

What was that all about?

Shut up, Yang I say leaving the room and she gives me this I know what you and Jo did look.

As I leave the linens room I have this excitement rushing down my body and I feel like I acomplished a life mission.

After that I know I´m definitly in love with her.

I still don´t know if she feels the same way but that kiss may be a sign she does.

And she is going to be waiting for me tonight.

I´m going to need a long surgery so the hours go past faster.

...

I finally finish my shift and I rush down to my car and start driving.

When I get there I get out of the car walking with confidence and feeling excited but very nervous.

I open the door and my mouth drops open.

This is what you wanted right? She says.

I stand there with my mouth wide open and unable to speak.

She lays completely naked in the couch she gave me and I have to admit she looks damn hot and I feel so turned on right now I almost give in but then I remember I wanted to make this different and I don´t want sex to bring us together.

Jo...

Don´t you want this? is this why you were all emotional and told me you were falling in love with me today? was it some twisted joke to make me give in and sleep with you? She says.

I open my mouth but nothing comes out.

You go around sleeping with everyone. Nurses, Patients and you have screwed all my friends too. I thought you wanted to be my friend. Do you say those things you told me to every girl you sleep with? She says almost crying.

Jo, you got it all wrong. I say scratching my head feeling as guilty as hell.

I walk closer to her and cover her up with a blanket.

Do you really think that all I said to you was an act to make you sleep with me? I ask with a knot in my throat and feeling like someone had burned all my insides.

I don´t know she answers, looking away.

If I wanted to sleep with you I would of already tried and I wouldn´t even mind in becoming your friend first. I really ment what I said to you Jo, and I don´t want to screw this up and now I really don´t know if you feel the same way I do but I just wanted you to know that I have never felt this way for anyone in my entire life and I have to admit I almost give in cause you looked so damn hot I say smirking.

But then I remembered I didn´t want to screw this up. I really mean this, I want to make this work.

When did you.. start having this feelings for me?

I´m not sure of what I´m going to say to her but I feel I need to give her an answer, fast, so I blurt out.

Since the night in the hospital when you got the donut box. I say feeling a little embarrassed of how it sounds.

I couldn´t stop thinking about you after and I just knew it. I say looking at her.

She stares at me and her face lightens up but she doesn´t say anything.

Are you going to.. say something? I say with a forced smirk.

Is just that nobody has ever looked at me the way you just did- She says.

I stand up smiling and give her my hand.

Come with me, I say.

She grabs my hand and I take her to my room.

We are going to sleep I say.

I take off my pants and she puts on one of my shirts on.

After you I say signaling the bed.

She lays down and I tuck myself in beside her, feeling her warmth and her long, smooth hair in my body.

I wrap her up with my arms and give her a kiss on the cheek.

I close my eyes and think, this is a start, right?

thoughts? xo :)


End file.
